I must be getting reacquainted with life, I have been feeling somewhat "normal" the past three days. I have been doing things on my own, I took Violet to Target.. TWICE.. I got to spend time with Jessica while Jake and Derric babysat. Jake and I surprised my grandma with a 2 hour visit to top secret 007 surprise visit to Fresno. We got to introduce the Little Flower to "The Fellowship".
I think, all I really needed was time to adjust, MY WAY. I am a
classic oldest child.
My time, My Way, My Circumstances. I really wanted the chance to feel like Violet was ours, that I established her routine, that I figured out her types of cries, her daily schedule. I've always been the type of person to shut down when people start telling me what to do (I'm not boasting about that either).
The oldest child is caught in a "Catch-22". Even though independence seems to be the essence of their personality make up; there is also a huge desire to be a "people pleaser". It doesn't make sense does it? Through my short 3 weeks of being a new parent, I have seen myself fight for boundaries, and cringe in doubt worry about what others thought of me.
Every new parent needs a time to reconcile this HUGE change in their life. I've learned you have to be confident in your decisions and not be afraid to do what YOU think is best for YOUR child, no what other people may or may not think.